This Year

I am gonna make it through this year, if it kills me... - the Mountain Goats



I recently took a stress inventory as part of a wellness webinar at work. The inventory has you check off major life changes you have experienced in the last year. Each change has been assigned a point value. You add up all the points for the items you checked, and figure out how stressed you are.



Some of the life changes I have been through in the last year are:


Change of city
Change of job
Change in residence (twice)

Change in number of family reunions (I'm farther away from home now.)
Taking on a mortgage

Death of my grandmother
Death of a pet (my mom's dog)
Getting engaged/planning a wedding
Turning 30
Beginning graduate school again (working on my second Master's)



The scoring of the stress inventory is as follows:


0 - 150: "Your stress level is low..."
151-299: "You have borderline stress..."
300+: "Your stress level is high, and your chance of getting stress related illness is great. Please discuss the results of this assessment with your doctor."


My score was 321. I've been through a lot this year, good and bad. And according to this medically sanctioned stress inventory, the good changes can be just as stressful as the bad changes. I've had too much change this year for any one person's system to handle normally. As a result, I'm stressed.


I am happy that we are engaged and that we bought a house. However, house buying is quite stressful. We're still unpacking and picking out light fixtures and hanging pictures and what not. Wedding planning hasn't been too terribly stressful yet, but I'm sure it will become more intense as we get closer to the day.

I wish my grandma and my dog hadn't died. I couldn't control either of those.

I started school, and yes, it's stressful, but I LOVE school. Unfortunately, scaling back on school is the only thing I can control to reduce my stress. So, I've decided to only take one class next semester, instead of two (which is what I am taking now).

This was a hard decision for me. I don't like admitting that I have limitations. Especially since I am not in the least academically limited. I already have one Master's degree (which I earned while working full time) and I am making A's in both my classes right now. So, I know I can do it. It's just that I am really bogged down and stressed taking two classes while working 40 hours a week. I love the classes and don't want to slow down in regard to school. But, since I have to work, my school course load is the only thing I can control to reduce my stress.

I can't snap my fingers and bring my grandma or dog back to life. I can't blink twice and have my house decorated and my wedding planned in that instant. The only thing I can really do is take one class instead of two. I hate that school has to be the sacrifice, but I also want to enjoy the time leading up to my wedding. I want to have some time to have fun in the coming months. I want to enjoy putting the finishing touches on our home. I want to have time to be a silly bride if I want to be. I want to spend more time riding my bike and reading books for fun (not for school). I want to do my usual run of watching movies like a mad man in order to be prepared for the Oscars. I want time to go to Sea World. I want to take naps. I want to dance to Beyonce when no one is looking.

So, I am trying not to think of cutting back on classes as admitting defeat, but instead think of it as giving myself a semester to breathe. I don't know when, or if, I will go back up to two classes at a time. In a normal year (not a super-stressful one), I think it would be fine. The thing is - we never know when life is going to hit us with major changes. You have to leave yourself a little wiggle room, in case the stress hits. I hope this doesn't mean I'm becoming an old fart, but I'm learning that I shouldn't push myself to quite the extremes that I've been used to. Even I need a break every now and again. And that is why I won't apologize for occasionally watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

I hope you all have a pleasant and stress free 2011.